I’ve spent a lot of time in airports over the years. My early life as a mountain guide entailed a lot of traveling between expeditions and I used to hate the sitting around waiting for flights. I once got to the airport in Kathmandu to find my flight was delayed by two days. That was a wait..(Biman Bangladesh, if you’re interested.)
As I’ve got older I’ve mellowed, accepting that they are a necessary evil and even, dare I admit it, a secret pleasure. Airports are humanity’s great equaliser. It doesn’t matter if you’re a millionaire with a black Amex or a backpacker praying your budget airline doesn’t weigh your bag, once you pass through those sliding doors, you’re just another confused soul queuing under fluorescent lights.
Every airport is a stage, and every traveller plays a role. The characters may change location, from Heathrow to Dubai to Bangkok, but they never change personality. It’s like the universe recycles them.
Here are the ten types of people you will always meet at the airport, complete with quirks, meltdowns, and a sprinkling of perfume. And yes, I’ve seen most of them in the wild on my own travels.
1. The Over-Packer
You know them before you even reach check-in. Their suitcase looks like it’s doing deep breathing exercises to keep from exploding.
They’re the ones who treat “23kg luggage allowance” as a suggestion rather than a rule. They’ve packed three different coats, six pairs of shoes “just in case,” and an appliance that suspiciously resembles a rice cooker. You wonder if they’re moving house, not going on holiday.
The real comedy begins when the bag tips the scales at 27kg. Out comes the airport floor unpacking performance. Suddenly, their underwear is on public display, rolled into a pair of boots. They start layering on jumpers like they’re trekking to the Arctic. A snorkel is sacrificed to the bin gods.
It’s a Shakespearean tragedy acted out in departures with a supporting cast of fellow passengers pretending not to stare, while absolutely staring.
I’ve been guilty of this myself, although not with a rice cooker, I promise.
2. The Duty-Free Perfume Sprayer
You didn’t ask for Chanel No. 5 at 8:30 in the morning, but here it comes anyway.
Duty-free perfume counters are irresistible to some. They don’t just pass through, they set up shop. Every single bottle must be sprayed, preferably in quick succession until the entire terminal smells like a cross between a teenage sleepover and a chemical spill.
The Duty-Free Sprayer emerges victorious, bag stuffed with three perfumes, a litre of vodka they’ll never drink, and a Toblerone the size of a traffic cone.
At PureTravel we love a bit of duty-free browsing, but sometimes you wonder if they’ve forgotten there’s still a flight to catch.
3. The Security Line Philosopher
The rules are simple. The signs are everywhere. Yet these travellers treat airport security like a philosophy exam.
“Liquids in a clear plastic bag.”
“Shoes, belt, laptop out.”
“No more than 100ml.”
And still, the Philosopher stands there, debating whether hummus is a solid or a liquid. (Spoiler: airport security will confiscate it either way. Rest in chickpeas.)
I’ve stood behind someone in Madrid once who argued about peanut butter for 15 minutes. Nobody won.
4. The Gate Sprinter
Ah, the adrenaline junkie of air travel. The Gate Sprinter is always running late. Sometimes they were still shopping. Sometimes they were “just grabbing a quick pint.” Sometimes they misread the 24-hour clock and thought 16:45 meant “plenty of time.”
When the dreaded “final boarding call” echoes through the terminal, they spring into action. Bags flailing, flip-flops slapping, sweat streaming, they bolt through duty-free like a contestant on Gladiators.
And yet, every single time, the flight hasn’t even started boarding properly. The Gate Sprinter arrives, red-faced and panting, only to join a queue of people who’ve been standing there since dinosaurs roamed the earth.
5. The Professional Queue-Joiner
Some people queue because they have to. This person queues because they want to.
You’ll find them at the gate a full hour before boarding. No announcement, no movement, not even a staff member in sight, but they’re already there, boarding pass in hand, radiating smug preparedness.
Their logic is simple: better to stand in line for 60 minutes than risk being in the dreaded “last group called” and forced to wedge their bag into an overhead bin already stuffed with someone else’s winter coat and unidentifiable duty-free purchases.
6. The Loudspeaker Announcement Star
“Passenger SMITH, please proceed immediately to Gate 23. The doors are now closing.” They do this particularly well at Schiphol airport in Amsterdam.
And just like that, a star is born. The entire airport now knows Smith. Who are they? Why are they late? Were they trapped in the perfume section?
Sometimes they sprint to the gate like their life depends on it. Sometimes they wander casually, iced coffee in hand, radiating “fashionably late” energy. Either way, the gate area is suddenly the best free drama in town.
7. The Family Caravan
Travelling with kids? Respect. Travelling with three kids, two strollers, a car seat, seven carry-ons, and a bag of snacks big enough to supply a football team? Heroic.
The Family Caravan moves through the airport like a slow, chaotic parade. Someone’s crying. Someone else has gone missing behind a vending machine. One parent is trying to fold down a stroller while the other negotiates with a toddler about whether chicken nuggets exist in France.
Nearby passengers sigh, roll eyes, and clutch their child-free boarding passes, but secretly, they’re just grateful it’s not them this time.
8. The Business Nomad
You’ll spot them instantly: crisp shirt, leather laptop bag, noise-cancelling headphones, and a look of weary superiority.
The Business Nomad treats airports like coworking spaces. They’re firing off emails at 6 a.m. in Pret. They’re dialled into a Zoom call at the gate. They’re casually throwing around words like “deliverables” and “Q4 projections” while you’re just trying to decide if a breakfast beer is acceptable.
They breeze through security with pre-check, never break a sweat, and somehow always have the perfect-sized carry-on that slots neatly into the overhead.
At PureTravel we sometimes wish we could be this organised, but we know we’d still end up spilling coffee on the laptop halfway through the flight.
9. The Airport Explorer
Where most people see airports as necessary evils, the Airport Explorer sees them as theme parks.
Got a 12-hour layover? Brilliant. That’s 12 hours to ride every moving walkway, sample every snack shop, and locate every single toilet.
By the time their flight boards, they know more about the terminal than the staff. They’ve tried on ten pairs of sunglasses they’ll never buy, tested the free massage chairs, and possibly befriended a cleaner.
I met one once in Singapore’s Changi who gave me directions more accurate than Google Maps. That’s dedication.
10. The Plane-Clapper
You’ve survived turbulence, a crying baby, and the person in front reclining directly into your knees. The plane screeches onto the runway, and a moment of silence falls across the cabin.
And then: clap, clap, clap.
The Plane-Clapper believes they are applauding not just the pilot, but the miracle of human flight itself. They clap with enthusiasm, smiling around at fellow passengers like, “Come on, join in.”
Half the plane joins in politely. The other half cringes into their neck pillows. The pilot, sealed in the cockpit, is completely unaware of this standing ovation.
Love them or hate them, the Plane-Clapper is the perfect reminder that travel, for all its stress, is still a bit magical.
Honourable Mentions
- The Shoes-Off Traveller who unleashes something unspeakable mid-flight.
- The Travel Influencer who takes 75 identical selfies with their passport.
- The 4 a.m. Pizza Enthusiast, because nothing says “holiday” like eating pepperoni before sunrise.
Final Boarding Call
Airports are stressful, ridiculous, exhausting places, but they’re also a comedy show with free tickets.
The over-packers, the sprinters, the family caravans, the plane-clappers: they remind us that no matter where we’re from, we’re all united by the absurdity of air travel.
At PureTravel we love these moments. They’re the small human dramas that make journeys memorable. So next time you’re heading off on an adventure, take a moment in departures to people-watch. You’ll definitely spot one of these characters, and if you don’t, it’s probably you.
Photo by Andy Beales on Unsplash
