You’ve just moved to a new country. You know enough of the language to get by but every time someone smiles and says, “How’s it going?” your heart races. You freeze, fumble for words, or laugh awkwardly while silently thinking, Please don’t ask me anything else.
Sound familiar?
If you’ve come to study English in Australia, or any other English-speaking country, chances are you’ve already experienced this kind of pressure. And while grammar and vocabulary are essential, the real challenge often lies in speaking up especially during casual conversations like small talk.
Here’s the good news: you don’t need to be fluent to connect. With a few practical strategies, you can build the confidence to join conversations, express yourself, and feel more like yourself even in a new language.
Why Small Talk Feels So Big
Unlike formal learning situations where you can prepare, small talk is unpredictable. People speak quickly. They use slang, shorten words, or jump from topic to topic. That unpredictability combined with the pressure to “sound smart” can make even simple chats feel stressful.
But here’s the truth: most people aren’t expecting perfection. They’re just happy you’re trying.
Start With Predictable Phrases
You don’t have to come up with something new every time. Memorising a few go-to phrases can ease the pressure and give you a safe way to enter or exit a conversation.
Try these:
- “I’m still learning, but I’d love to practise with you.”
- “Can you say that again a little slower?”
- “I’m not sure of the word, but this is what I mean…”
- “Sorry I’m new here! What does that mean?”
These kinds of sentences show honesty, friendliness, and effort and they often invite patience and support in return.
Slow Down the Conversation (Without Killing It)
If someone’s talking too fast or using unfamiliar words, it’s okay to slow things down. But you don’t need to pause everything dramatically. Use small cues to guide the pace:
- Smile and say “Wait, one more time?”
- Hold up a finger and say, “Just catching up!”
- Echo the last part of what they said to buy time (“Ah, ‘heaps busy at work,’ right?”)
These small tactics keep the flow natural while giving your brain a second to catch up.
Focus on Listening Not Translating
It’s tempting to listen and translate everything in your head. But that’s exhausting and usually unnecessary. Instead, train your ear to pick up tone, facial expressions, and keywords.
Try this:
- Don’t translate every word just focus on the main idea
- Watch for emotional cues (Are they excited? Frustrated? Joking?)
- Repeat key words to confirm you understand: “Oh stressful day, yeah?”
You’ll be surprised how much you can understand without needing every detail.
Use “Fillers” With Confidence
Native speakers use filler phrases all the time: “you know,” “like,” “um,” “kind of.” These words give you space to think and you can use them too.
Practice saying:
- “It’s kind of like…”
- “I guess you could say…”
- “I mean, I’m not sure, but…”
These phrases buy time and show that you’re thinking, not stuck. Bonus: they help you sound more natural.
Practice in Low-Stress Settings
The best way to get better at small talk is to do it regularly but it helps to start in low-pressure environments.
Great practice spots include:
- Chatting with classmates before or after lessons
- Speaking with store clerks or baristas
- Joining a language exchange or meetup
- Talking to neighbours about the weather or daily routines
The more casual the setting, the easier it is to relax and experiment with new phrases.
Don’t Hide Your Learning Journey
Trying to “blend in” perfectly can actually increase your stress. Instead, be upfront. When people know you’re learning, they become more patient, more supportive and often, more curious about you.
Try saying:
- “I’m still learning English, so I might mix things up sometimes.”
- “Let me know if I say something strange I’m still getting used to slang!”
This sets expectations and makes the conversation feel more collaborative.
Celebrate the Little Wins
Did you ask a question without hesitating? Did someone understand you on the first try? Did you keep a conversation going for two full minutes? That’s a win.
Language progress is rarely dramatic. It’s a collection of small steps: a few brave words, one good laugh, one kind conversation.
Speaking a new language in real-time, with real people, is one of the bravest things you can do. It takes patience, humour, and a whole lot of courage but it gets easier every day. Remember: small talk isn’t about being perfect. It’s about showing up, being present, and connecting one conversation at a time.
Photo by Sara Darcaj on Unsplash
