Pure Travel
  • About
  • Destination Inspiration
  • Tips & Advice
  • Guide
  • Travel Writing
  • Cookie Policy (UK)
  • Conservation
  • Privacy
  • Travel Writing Competition 2025
  • Reviews
  • Travel Resources
  • T&C
  • Contact Us
  • Conservation
  • Privacy
  • Travel Writing Competition 2025
  • Reviews
  • Travel Resources
  • T&C
  • Contact Us
Pure Travel
Pure Travel
  • About
  • Destination Inspiration
  • Tips & Advice
  • Guide
  • Travel Writing
  • Cookie Policy (UK)

The Sleeper Bus

  • September 22, 2020
  • admin

I had no choice but to allow the weight of my sizeable rucksack to tip me off the back of the motorcycle that had brought me from the hotel to the bus. I laid there like a beetle, arms flailing, and tried to use momentum to get back to a less compromising position. What made it infinitely worse was that we were the last ones to board. Our hotel had called ahead to delay the driver who, along with every passenger on the manifest, had witnessed my less than graceful performance.
It was just after 4pm and we could visibly see the driver getting antsy, pumping the accelerator and revving the engine so he didn’t have to show his hand. We had no objections to boarding, having already had enough of the heady mixture of heat and diesel fumes.
“No problem driver, do you have a biohazard bag into which we may cough our lungs?”
We knew all too well about the standard of the driving and roads in Vietnam and, as I followed my partner past the cockpit and down the aisle to find our beds, I recognised the familiar silhouette of Jesus Christ on the dashboard adorned with various prayer beads and acknowledged it as a symbol of protection.
“I bet He didn’t snigger at my calamitous misfortune” I muttered, immediately feeling redeemed.
Shuffling through what amounted to a dormitory on wheels, it was disconcerting to feel like we were invading the personal space of every fellow passenger we passed, such was the close proximity of each bed, and I felt obliged to apologise uncomfortably for the inconvenience.
Reaching our upper bunks, we climbed up to explore our berths for the next eleven hours, our heads narrowly missing the roof as the driver’s lead foot pulled us out of the layby.
The last thing I imagined upon booking our tickets was a Queen-sized divan, but I didn’t anticipate the other end of the extreme. 2ft by 5ft and clinical-looking, I half expected a visit from a nurse with an unaccommodating bedside manner to read my notes and insert a drip into my arm.
Strangely, the foot of the bed comprised a plastic box, which encased our lower legs up to our knees and made us look like we were lying in open matchboxes.
As the darkness fell late in to the evening and draped the bus in black, I gave in to my heavy eyelids and fell asleep, only to be awoken with a start shortly after. For the next 6 hours I suffered through a range of persistent and torturous sleep deprivation methods skilfully applied by the erratic ability of our driver, who clearly failed to appreciate the concept of the word smooth.
Attempting to sleep in a bed too small for my frame was challenging enough, but every left turn took all of my strength to prevent my dead weight from rolling off and hitting the deck hard like I did from the top bunk on a Belgium-bound ferry when I was seven. I didn’t fare much better on right turns either, as he repeatedly created enough momentum to sucker my face to the window like a child’s backseat toy.
I would have been more accepting had I known his was an isolated driving style. But I have never witnessed anybody drive a bus any differently in Southeast Asia and remain convinced that everybody learns to drive at the same school.
It did, however, make me feel better that I was not alone in being victimised. Sharp and persistent braking continually awakened with a start those on the upper bunks, who collectively sat up like it was a choreographed Asian pop music video, their white sheets making for zombie-like silhouettes. Given the minimal bed-to-roof clearance, the repeated and unified thud of twenty-odd passengers desecrating their foreheads with a waffle-printed Vietnamese tattoo turned the surreal bizarre.
“Ah”, I exclaimed triumphantly to my partner, “now I know the purpose of the plastic box! It’s to keep our bodies contained in a neat pile when they crumple to nothing under the weight of excessive braking.”
We eagerly disembarked the bus in the early hours of the next morning, its mass shrinking in the distance. Searching for positives, I was at least grateful that we had arrived safely, concluding that it is an oxymoron of the highest order and wondered how they had the audacity to call it a Sleeper Bus. Never again.



N Burt

Share
Tweet
admin

You May Also Like
Turkeys rich history
View Post
  • Destination Inspiration

How to Immerse Yourself in Turkey’s Rich History

  • Jules
  • June 30, 2025
Best weekend by the ocean
View Post
  • Destination Inspiration

The Ideal Itinerary for a Long Weekend by the Ocean

  • Jules
  • June 30, 2025
Mard 1985 and me
View Post
  • Travel Writing

Bollywood and Me: How I came to be in the Amitabh Bachchan Film Classic MARD

  • Robert
  • June 29, 2025
Not fluent yet
View Post
  • Tips & Advice

Small Talk, Big Stress: How to Speak Up When You’re Not Fluent Yet

  • Jules
  • June 26, 2025
yacht hire greece
View Post
  • Destination Inspiration
  • Lifestyle

The Ultimate Yacht Charter Guide for Greece, Summer 2025

  • Jules
  • June 24, 2025
best spanish shoulder season destinations
View Post
  • Destination Inspiration

The top destinations to visit during shoulder season for Spain’s sweet spots

  • Robert
  • June 23, 2025
Luoyang Buddha
View Post
  • Destination Inspiration

Chongqing & Luoyang: From Buddhist Caves to Hot Pot Streets

  • Jules
  • June 20, 2025
essential camping equipment
View Post
  • Action & Adventure

Essential Gear for Your Next Outdoor Adventure

  • Jules
  • June 20, 2025
  • Turkeys rich history
    How to Immerse Yourself in Turkey’s Rich History
    • June 30, 2025
  • Best weekend by the ocean
    The Ideal Itinerary for a Long Weekend by the Ocean
    • June 30, 2025
  • Mard 1985 and me
    Bollywood and Me: How I came to be in the Amitabh Bachchan Film Classic MARD
    • June 29, 2025
  • Not fluent yet
    Small Talk, Big Stress: How to Speak Up When You’re Not Fluent Yet
    • June 26, 2025
  • yacht hire greece
    The Ultimate Yacht Charter Guide for Greece, Summer 2025
    • June 24, 2025
Recent Comments
    Pure Travel
    • About
    • Destination Inspiration
    • Tips & Advice
    • Guide
    • Travel Writing
    • Cookie Policy (UK)
    A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step

    Input your search keywords and press Enter.

    Pure Travel
    Manage Consent
    To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
    Functional Always active
    The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
    Preferences
    The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
    Statistics
    The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
    Marketing
    The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
    Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
    View preferences
    {title} {title} {title}